Talking Foul!

Ok, lovely readers! It's Sports Talk Tuesday! My overall goal is to help all women understand and appreciate sports the same way I do. I feel like sports have enriched my life beyond measure! At least half of my friends were made with some kind of sport being the starting point of the friendship. They bring people together!

Currently, we are in the middle of the NBA finals between the Dallas Mavericks and the Miami Heat. Some say it's Good vs. Evil. I agree with those people. And Dallas is the "Good," so if you like things that are "Good," you are a Dallas fan at your next watching party. I don't have time to explain everything that caused my stance on this subject, but ask your husband about his stance on "The Decision" and if he likes sports, he'll have an opinion.

Since game 4 is tonight, we have to hurry and learn some terminology that you can use at your watching-parties...or even just to impress your husband while the two of you cuddle on the couch.

I was trying to determine the most useful vocabulary set I could think of for today...and I had one main inspiration.

There will be a TON of fouls called tonight...and too many of them will send Dwyane Wade to the line. So, "fouls" will be our topic today.

But before we get there, I have to derail this train for a second. I have GOT to get something off my chest. Can everyone read his name above? Dwyane. The announcers act like this is completely normal. They pronounce it "Duane" or "Dewayne" or any of the normal ways you've seen it. They never bring up the fact that it clearly says "Dwah - yane"...Dwyane. Not "Du - wayne" like they say it. I can read and I learned phonics. That says "Dwah - yane"...and so, I will call him that.

Ok, where were we? Right, foul talk. (that sounds like I'm about to get dirty)

Foul - Each player has to have a fair chance to make a play. If a player cheats by pushing another player or elbowing him, slapping him, etc...anything that keeps the player from having a fair chance to make a play, that is a foul.
Flop - what Dwyane Wade does. For real. But also...it has become an "art" in basketball to disguise what is actually happening and make it look as though you are being fouled. Players are well aware of where the refs will be located on the floor, so if I am standing in a position where Sally is behind me, I know the ref can't actually see Sally. I can launch myself to the ground and act like Sally pushed me and the ref has no option but to call a foul since something must have caused that. Right, Dwah-yane?
Foul Line - the line a player stands behind to shoot a free throw
Free Throw - when a player is fouled while shooting, or fouled after the other team has reached the penalty (explained below), he shoots two free throws. These are shots where he stands on the foul line with no one in his face and he has time to set up and shoot comfortably.
Shooting Foul - if Sally fouls me while I am trying to shoot the ball, I get two free throws, every time. That is a "shooting foul" because she fouled me while I was shooting.
Non-Shooting Foul - if Sally fouls me while I am dribbling the ball (she slaps my hand, which is called a "Reach In," for example) I don't get to shoot two free throws UNLESS Sally's team is "in the penalty." In the NBA, each team gets 5 fouls per quarter before they are "in the penalty." If Sally fouls me while I'm dribbling and it's just the 3rd foul of that quarter, the whistle blows, they count the foul, and my team regroups and starts again. If Sally fouls me while I'm dribbling and it's the 6th foul of the quarter, I am going to get to shoot two free throws because her team is "in the penalty." Get it?!

So tonight, shock your husband, boyfriend, father or sports-loving-girlfriend-like-me away by saying something like:
"Ugh! I hate it when Dwah-yane gets foul calls for flopping like that! No one touched him!"
"Great. There goes Dwah-yane to the foul line again...Grrrr."
"Thank goodness that wasn't a shooting foul [if Dirk slaps Dwyane in the face while he's dribbling] or else Dwah-yane would get two more shots!"
"Are the Mavericks in the penalty yet?" [if you want to know whether or not a foul will automatically send the Heat to the free throw line]
"That's a foul!!!!" [when Dirk gets a black eye and nothing gets called]

Are you guys starting to get it? Give me some feedback about if this is too hard to follow or way too simplistic. I'm not sure where most of the audience falls on the sports-love-ometer.

And enjoy the game tonight. The Mavs need this win or it's pretty much over. But more importantly than that, enjoy getting together with your sports-loving friends. Have good, fun fellowship and remember the Giver of those good times!